Sabotage...

Ok, so it seems that if I am unhappy with the way things are, the way my life has headed and the way I look! The only person who is to blame is ME... the only thing that I have control over and the right to change is ME. So I've recently decided to take on a new challenge. I'm modifying my diet, it seems that my current diet is not the healthy option as far as being at my peak physical potential.
I've bought a book, I've read the book, I've picked out some of the yummier sounding recipes, I've bought the ingredients and I've cooked some of the meals and yes they are very tasty... and then the sun goes down, the child sized monster goes to bed... I put on the kettle and make myself a cuppa to relax a little in my own company for a little while, maybe I'll chat to some friends on Facebook, finish of some text conversations or watch a little television... despite the activity I find myself involved in I am sabotaging the effort I've put in all day to live a healthy lifestyle... This is the time of the day I find myself gorging on chocolate!!!
All my hard work and saying 'No' to myself all day becomes wasted effort.... the little voice in side of my head is screaming at me "DON'T DO IT!!!" but I cant help myself.... I guess as much as I want to be slim and healthy... I'm equally or even more afraid. I've never considered myself 'sexy'... I've always thought that having my belly there stopped that... it seems though that men have a different idea of what is sexy and desirable and I therefore haven't had any troubles in that department. I have always had a positive attitude, been a pleasant person and I have looked after myself but I don't know, having a tummy has kept me grounded, stopped me from doing a lot of things and I guess I have hidden behind it my entire life.
I don't know who I am slim... I don't know what its like... I don't know if I will change as a person.... I don't know if guys will like me just for being slim or for me as a person... I don't know a lot and I'm scared of not knowing!! So there is a little part of me that is so terrified that it sends me to the chocolate stash and stuffs it into my face just to maintain that little bit of me (ok its quite a large portion of myself) so as to keep things normal and familiar!
So if you know of any tricks that may help me to overcome my chocolate addiction and to curb my self sabotage... please comment below because I'm desperate, I need any help I can get!!!
Love
single_mummy86
xoxo